And now, onto the final part in the series. We know how to write inhale scenes and exhales scenes, but what in the world is an MRU? Motivation Reaction Unit. Blah. Boring. Some dude name Dwight made up the terminology.
I don't care for the terminology. The way I think of it is like this. Write about what is happening outside of your character, and then have your character react to that outside stimulation. After that, if necessary, have your MC counter react.
Before showing an example, here are the following points you want to keep in mind when your MC reacts to external stimuli.
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Reaction
1. Automatic response. Shivers. Adrenaline rush.
Teary eyed. Gasp. Jerk reaction. Cuss. Shaking. Throw arms up. Flinch. Heart pounding.
2. Willful bodily response. A physical response in reaction to an outside source. Pulling away. Jumping. Slapping.
3. Speech. Character says something in response to the outside source.
4. Thoughts. Thoughts or introspection in direct response to the outside source.
Taking Control and Counter Reaction
5. Body. Does she do something else as a counter action? An example would be: she punched the person in the nose. Now she is taking control of the situation, rather than things just being done to her.
6. Speech. Does she say something to take control of the situation?
7. Thought. Do her thoughts shift to taking control of the situation?
Here's an example:
Exterior Stimuli. The puckered pedals at the end of the bulbous flower moved like lips. "Hello. How are you?"
Reaction. (1) Alice jumped, gasped, and her eyes bulged. (2) She looked around as if making sure she was alone. (3) She wondered if the flower had actually moved, but she was positive that she heard a voice.
For Alice's reaction, I think about the four points, automatic response, willful bodily response, speech, and thoughts. In Alice's above reaction, I only used three of the four, because I didn't feel she needed to say anything yet. It is a good idea, especially upon rewriting, that you look at every external stimuli and ask yourself if your MC could react. Then go through each point and see what reactions she could have, if any.
Taking Control. (5) Curiously, Alice extended her hand to touch the flower.
Now Alice tries to take control of the situation by counter reacting. As a counter reaction, she wouldn't have an automatic response, so there are only three responses to choose from. I went with a body response. I could have gone with speech, but I save that for her next reaction.
Exterior Counter Reaction. "You didn't ask permission to touch me," said the flower.
Now the ping-pong match has started. Next, if applicable, make the other character counter react. Then, we start all over again, with Alice's reactions to external stimuli, and I think about the four points again.
Reaction. (1) She snapped her hand back as if the flower were a rattle snake. (1) Her heart raced, as (4) she thought about how indeed the lips of the flower moved. And just how could a flower have lips? (3) "Did you just say something?" Alice asked, not entirely sure what was happening.
The order of the reactions should be logical. They can be in any order, so long as they are in a logical order. I would have to write about her hand snapping back first, because that is the first automated response, followed by her racing heart. She wouldn't have the thoughts before snapping her hand back, for example. I left out two because I couldn't think of anything for her to do.
It makes more sense to have the flower counter react, than to have Alice take control of the situation.
Exterior Counter Reaction. The pedals on the end animated once more. "Of course, I said something. Don't flowers talk where you come from?"
When it comes to external reactions, you are limited to speech and movement, unless you are writing in omniscient POV or your MC can read minds. So you think about the following three things when an external character is counter reacting: Automatic response (movement and sound only), willful body response, and speech.
The parts we have then are:
External Stimuli
Reaction
Taking Control/Counter Reaction
External Counter Reaction
We could call them ERTE Units. Blah.
We covered one kind of external stimuli, which is another character, but that is not the only kind of external stimuli. Before going into more types, keep in mind that your MC could be reacting to a group of characters. In such a case, you might write several of their actions before having your MC react.
Okay, so what are other types of external stimuli? You're probably already thinking of them. Environment. Let's say Bob is hiking on a rocky cliff side.
External Stimuli. A rumbling crashes above Bob.
Reaction. (1) Adrenaline triggers Bob's senses and he shoots a glance up at the rumbling.
External Stimuli. A mass of boulders and dirt tumble toward him like an angry entity.
Reaction. (3) "Oh, Crap," he says (1) as his weak heart pounds dangerously fast. If he were healthy, he wouldn't have hesitated, but would have sprinted along the cliff side to dodge the onslaught of bludgeoning rocks. (4) His mind races through ideas. His only option is to hang off the cliff and hope the rocks will bounce off the pathway and over him. Hopefully, they won't crush his fingers in the process. (2) As quickly as possible, and ignoring his faulty heart, he hung over the cliff.
I included all four reaction types in this example. I also added a bit of narration, which fits into none of the reaction types.
Narration, another kind of stimuli, can be external or internal. So your character can react to it.
Example.
External Stimuli. The walk to Freemont Creek would be long, perhaps too long just to catch some crawdads.
Reaction. (2) He stopped walking down the cracked sidewalk. (4) He thought about closer places he could go to catch crawdads, but couldn't think of any.
Taking Control. He decided to play video games instead.
He reacted to the narration, and then he reacted to his own thoughts by taking control. Here is another example of internal stimuli.
Internal Stimuli. Oh, wait, if John fired the gun now while flour particles filled the tiny room, a flash from his gun might cause the cloud to combust.
Reaction. (2) With his thumb, he slowly guided the hammer of the revolver back into place.
External Stimuli could be description.
External Stimuli. A beautiful description of a Japanese garden, which I don't feel like writing. :p
Reaction. (1) She gasped and brought her fingers to her lips. (2) Then she shoved her hands in her pockets because she didn't want the group to know she was in awe. After a quick glance around, it seemed none of them had noticed her over reaction, and (4) she sure hoped Jack hadn't noticed.
Within her reaction to the description, she reacts to her automatic reaction by shoving her hands in her pockets and glancing around, and then thinking about Jack. Of course, there would be no need to start a new paragraph for that however. Typically, reactions to internal stimuli are in the same paragraph as the stimuli, but reactions to external stimuli are in separate paragraphs.
Practice
It is helpful to practice writing scenes using ERTE units. At first, the process is slow, but the more you practice the more your brain gets used to the process, and eventually, writing ERTE Units is second nature. Even so, it is always a good idea to do an ERTE units pass when rewriting, just to be sure you didn't miss any reactions you could have written.
This can be very helpful to break up a dialog heavy scene and to add life to it. After each person talks, see if your main character can have any of the four reactions listed in this article.
Example of dialog before an ERTE units pass.
After about five minutes of traveling, Cloud said, "You know I'm just a diamond worker?"
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"You fill lightning capacitors; I fashion diamond products. It's not what I wanted to be, though."
"Yeah," she said, sounding interested. "What did ya want to be?"
"Forget it. You'll laugh."
"I won't."
He looked down at his feet and kept walking. "I wanted to be a dancer."
A huge smile filled her face.
"See, I told you," he said.
"I didn't laugh."
He kicked a small rock. "You wanted to, though."
"Well, why didn't you dance?"
After an ERTE units pass.
After about five minutes of traveling, Cloud said, "You know I'm just a diamond worker?"
"What do you mean?" She asked, because she really had no clue what he was on about. She couldn't understand the worried yet shamed look on his face.
"You fill lightning capacitors; I fashion diamond products. It's not what I wanted to be, though."
Skyla ducked under a low hanging branch that was full of green and rust-colored leaves. "Yeah," she said, sounding interested. She was careful to sound interested, and she was, because this seemed important to him. "What did ya want to be?"
"Forget it. You'll laugh."
No, he didn't, she thought. He couldn't play the "I'm not going to tell you," card, not after bringing it up. She hated when someone was about to tell her something, then made up an excuse why they wouldn't tell her. Why even bring it up in the first place?
She skipped in front of him. "I won't," she said, knowing that she would try really hard not to laugh.
He looked down at his feet and kept walking. "I wanted to be a dancer."
A huge smile filled her face, but she managed not to laugh. Even if she had laughed, it wouldn't have been because she thought it was funny that he wanted to be a dancer, but because it caught her off guard. She had no clue he was an artsy type.
"See, I told you," he said.
She nudged him with her shoulder. "I didn't laugh."
He kicked a small rock. "You wanted to, though."
She could tell he was sensitive about this, so she decided not to crack any jokes. "Well, why didn't you dance?"
It went from 98 words, to 273 words.
Another thing I try to do during an ERTE units pass, is think of ways I can describe what is around them using their actions.
Okay, I think that about covers it all. I hope this three-part series helps.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
What is tone/mood in writing?
Tone is more than just the setting, a stormy night verses a sunny beach. Tone is the words you choose to use. Those words change the tone/mood of the section you are writing. During a scary scene, you want to use words that create that tone, blood, crunch, stab, etc. His eyes stabbed into the demonic darkness.
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Here is an example of what I mean.
She entered the elephants' graveyard, fog snaking around her red shoes. Tall rib bones curved up to her shoulders, as she walked around stained bones that protruded from dry, cracked earth. Nothing but the scraps of Death remained in that place. Now read that same paragraph without well selected words. She entered the elephants' graveyard, fog swirling around her red shoes. Tall rib bones curved up to her shoulders, as she walked around dirty bones that shot up from cracked earth. Nothing but the scraps of Death remained in that place.
Just a few words were changed, and it loses tone in the process. But also, the details you choose to write makes a difference. Imagine if I hadn't mentioned the fog, rib bones, or the cracked earth.
Look at the difference between the following.
Partly hidden in the shadows, the man stared at her from across the street. The tall thin man stood next to a broken-down Honda, as the wind ruffled his trench coat, yet Heather couldn't feel the wind. She paused and her hands shook.
The thin man stood across the street, towering next to a rusted Honda that looked corroded and dead. Though he was partly consumed by the shadows, Heather could see his trench coat rippling with the wind, as if he were a living shadow. Yet she couldn't feel the wind. His silvery eyes stabbed at her through the darkness. She froze, her hands quivering by her sides.
The details you choose, the words you choose, and the order in which you write the information all adds to tone.
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Here is an example of what I mean.
She entered the elephants' graveyard, fog snaking around her red shoes. Tall rib bones curved up to her shoulders, as she walked around stained bones that protruded from dry, cracked earth. Nothing but the scraps of Death remained in that place. Now read that same paragraph without well selected words. She entered the elephants' graveyard, fog swirling around her red shoes. Tall rib bones curved up to her shoulders, as she walked around dirty bones that shot up from cracked earth. Nothing but the scraps of Death remained in that place.
Just a few words were changed, and it loses tone in the process. But also, the details you choose to write makes a difference. Imagine if I hadn't mentioned the fog, rib bones, or the cracked earth.
Look at the difference between the following.
Partly hidden in the shadows, the man stared at her from across the street. The tall thin man stood next to a broken-down Honda, as the wind ruffled his trench coat, yet Heather couldn't feel the wind. She paused and her hands shook.
The thin man stood across the street, towering next to a rusted Honda that looked corroded and dead. Though he was partly consumed by the shadows, Heather could see his trench coat rippling with the wind, as if he were a living shadow. Yet she couldn't feel the wind. His silvery eyes stabbed at her through the darkness. She froze, her hands quivering by her sides.
The details you choose, the words you choose, and the order in which you write the information all adds to tone.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Exhale scene: How to write engaging, suspenseful scenes like Dean Koontz
The exhale scene follows the inhale scene. Typically, the exhale scene is shorter than the inhale scene, but if you are writing a romance novel, then the exhale scenes will be around the same length as the inhale scenes.
Here are the parts to the exhale scene, and they don't have to happen in this order.
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Exhale Scene
1. Establish your character's emotional state, which is the result of the actions in the previous inhale scene.
2. The character gets control over her emotions and decides what to do next. If needed, have the characters review recent events.
3. The character analyzes facts to figure out what she can do next.
4. She formulates a plan and dedicates herself to it.
5. She acts in a way that sets up the next inhale scene.
For an example, I will continue where I left off in the inhale scene. I left off with Sandy failing to reach her minor goal, which was to find her hairbrush. Her boyfriend is going to show up in five minutes.
1. First, I would establish her emotional state. She is freaking out. I would write a lot of introspection in this scene. 2. Then she works out her emotional freak out and decides that she will need to do something else with her hair. 3. Sandy looks at her options. 4. She can brush her hair using her mother's brush, which will leave it frizzy. Oh well. She does that, then she puts a lot of leave-in conditioner, and then she puts it back in a ponytail. That will have to do. 5. After finishing with her hair, she goes outside to wait for her boyfriend because she doesn't want to let him in the house, where her family will most likely embarrass her.
This sets up the next inhale scene. Her new goal is to meet her boyfriend and get in the car quickly so that he doesn't have the chance to meet her family. A new problem presents itself, though. Her ex-boyfriend stops by, and she needs to get rid of him before the new guy shows up. Du dun. Du dun.
You continue to cycle through inhale and exhale scenes. Sometimes you will want to skip the exhale scene all together. Or sum it up in a short paragraph or sentence.
You could end the chapter when the MC reaches or fails to reach her ultimate goal. You might want to end the chapter with a cliffhanger as well. So in this case, the chapter ends when the date ends, and oh boy does it get crazy.
Here are the parts to the exhale scene, and they don't have to happen in this order.
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Exhale Scene
1. Establish your character's emotional state, which is the result of the actions in the previous inhale scene.
2. The character gets control over her emotions and decides what to do next. If needed, have the characters review recent events.
3. The character analyzes facts to figure out what she can do next.
4. She formulates a plan and dedicates herself to it.
5. She acts in a way that sets up the next inhale scene.
For an example, I will continue where I left off in the inhale scene. I left off with Sandy failing to reach her minor goal, which was to find her hairbrush. Her boyfriend is going to show up in five minutes.
1. First, I would establish her emotional state. She is freaking out. I would write a lot of introspection in this scene. 2. Then she works out her emotional freak out and decides that she will need to do something else with her hair. 3. Sandy looks at her options. 4. She can brush her hair using her mother's brush, which will leave it frizzy. Oh well. She does that, then she puts a lot of leave-in conditioner, and then she puts it back in a ponytail. That will have to do. 5. After finishing with her hair, she goes outside to wait for her boyfriend because she doesn't want to let him in the house, where her family will most likely embarrass her.
This sets up the next inhale scene. Her new goal is to meet her boyfriend and get in the car quickly so that he doesn't have the chance to meet her family. A new problem presents itself, though. Her ex-boyfriend stops by, and she needs to get rid of him before the new guy shows up. Du dun. Du dun.
You continue to cycle through inhale and exhale scenes. Sometimes you will want to skip the exhale scene all together. Or sum it up in a short paragraph or sentence.
You could end the chapter when the MC reaches or fails to reach her ultimate goal. You might want to end the chapter with a cliffhanger as well. So in this case, the chapter ends when the date ends, and oh boy does it get crazy.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
How to write engaging, suspenseful scenes like Dean Koontz (Inhale Scenes)
Write Engaging Scenes!
Are you wondering how authors write compelling, tense scenes? Are you wondering how they write 100k-word novels? How does Dean Koontz write a seventeen-page rape scene and keep the whole scene exciting?
The following three articles will get on you the path of writing engaging and extended scenes: inhale scenes, exhale scenes, and MRUs (extending scenes).
This article is brought to you by Master Edit the best software to polish your novels, stories, and articles before publishing. I love this software.
I will start with inhale scenes. There are two kinds of scenes that bleed into each other: inhale and exhale. Just as you inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale, so to must your scenes. The inhale scene is the tense scene, the scene where crap blows up, the female gets dumped, or the mother struggles to make it to work on time. And the exhale scene is the calm scene; the scene where the man freaks out at his missing arm that he had lost in the explosion; the scene where the female rips her teddy bear's head off, wondering why in the hell her boyfriend dumped her; or the scene where the mother wonders why her kids made her late for work yet again.
When writing an inhale scene, keep the following parts in mind. I will go into more details about each part.
Inhale Scene
1. Make it clear who the point-of-view character is by sharing their thoughts, for example. Set the scene and where your character's are at in relation to each other and the objects in the scene. Set up the time and place in relation to the last scene.
2. Establish character motivation to achieve a specific goal and let us know the consequences of what will happen if she fails to achieve that goal.
4. Think of bad things that can happen to prevent your character from achieving her goals. This creates conflict and tension. She can fail repeatedly.
5. Narrow the character's options with each problem she faces while trying to reach her goal.
7. The scene ends when she either reaches her goal or fails to reach it.
Because I learn best by example, I will give examples as I elaborate on each part. The first thing we want to do is set up the scene while introducing our main character. I will call her Sandy. Dean Koontz would probably call her Sasha.
In the cramped but clean bathroom, Sandy searched for her brush, opening and closing drawers that were under the sink. Where in the hell was it? Her brother better not have messed with it.
I have set up the setting, placed my character in the scene in relation to the objects, introduced my MC, and established her point of view by sharing her thoughts. I've decided to start with tension that most people can relate to. The goal is to manipulate the readers emotions without them feeling manipulated. When a reader can relate to the character's problems, they feel sympathy for them. So this is why I have chosen to start the story this way.
I don't need to set up the time and relation to the last scene, because this is the first scene in the novel. I can continue to develop setting, but I want to give her a goal as soon as possible, which I've already hinted at. She needs to find her brush. But I still need to give her a motivation for that goal and make clear the consequences if she fails to reach that goal.
To make this article shorter, I will not write the scenes in real time anymore after this next part.
She ripped open every drawer and frantically searched through all the contents in them, like blow dryer, hair clips, other brushes, and curling iron. She checked the shower and even behind the toilet. She rapped her fingers on the sink's counter, thinking about slapping her brother upside the head. Okay, she had fifteen more minutes until her date arrived.
She really wanted this date to go well; she had to impress him. Like really because he was cute, smart, charming, and popular. If Charlie ends up being her boyfriend, she will be popular too, and she really wanted to be popular. Just once, you know, she would like to feel what that was like.
So she had to find her brush because her mother's brush just made her hair all frizzy, and she didn't have the time to go buy a new one. Charlie might not want to be with her if her hair is a mess on their first date.
Now I have made her main goal clear, which is to make the date go smoothly. I have made her motivation clear: to make Charlie her boyfriend so she can be popular. But that is not her only reason. She likes him as well. The consequences if she fails to make him her boyfriend are implied. I have set up her first obstacle, the first thing that could go wrong. Her hairbrush is missing. If she doesn't find it, her hair will be frizzy.
I need to think of other things that could go wrong while she is looking for her brush. I need to narrow her options. One way to narrow options, which creates tension, is adding a timer. The timer itself also creates suspense. A timer can be many things, like a cancer leaving her with three months to live.
She keeps checking her watch. By the time she gets downstairs, she only has ten minutes left. Her brother swears that he doesn't know where her brush is. Her mother doesn't know either.
Then her mother tells her brother to take out the trash, but he says it is Sandy's turn. Now she has a new obstacle. She tries to talk her way out of it, but she's wasting time, so she decides to take the trash out as quickly as possible. What else could go wrong? When she gets outside, a massive raccoon jumps out of the knocked-over trash can. She must get him out of the way, for she can put the bag in the trash and pick up the mess it had made. Eight more minutes. She finds a broom and pokes it at the raccoon, but it attacks the broom and rips it out of her hands. Seven minutes. She throws her brothers soccer ball at it. the raccoon runs off, but she feels bad about hitting it. She picks the trash up and runs back up stairs.
Five more minutes. Her options have narrowed. She no longer has the time to search for her hairbrush. The scene ends with her failing to reach her goal. She doesn't find her hairbrush. Now we write the exhale scene, which will be in my next article.
Are you wondering how authors write compelling, tense scenes? Are you wondering how they write 100k-word novels? How does Dean Koontz write a seventeen-page rape scene and keep the whole scene exciting?
The following three articles will get on you the path of writing engaging and extended scenes: inhale scenes, exhale scenes, and MRUs (extending scenes).
This article is brought to you by Master Edit the best software to polish your novels, stories, and articles before publishing. I love this software.
I will start with inhale scenes. There are two kinds of scenes that bleed into each other: inhale and exhale. Just as you inhale and exhale, inhale and exhale, so to must your scenes. The inhale scene is the tense scene, the scene where crap blows up, the female gets dumped, or the mother struggles to make it to work on time. And the exhale scene is the calm scene; the scene where the man freaks out at his missing arm that he had lost in the explosion; the scene where the female rips her teddy bear's head off, wondering why in the hell her boyfriend dumped her; or the scene where the mother wonders why her kids made her late for work yet again.
When writing an inhale scene, keep the following parts in mind. I will go into more details about each part.
Inhale Scene
1. Make it clear who the point-of-view character is by sharing their thoughts, for example. Set the scene and where your character's are at in relation to each other and the objects in the scene. Set up the time and place in relation to the last scene.
2. Establish character motivation to achieve a specific goal and let us know the consequences of what will happen if she fails to achieve that goal.
4. Think of bad things that can happen to prevent your character from achieving her goals. This creates conflict and tension. She can fail repeatedly.
5. Narrow the character's options with each problem she faces while trying to reach her goal.
7. The scene ends when she either reaches her goal or fails to reach it.
Because I learn best by example, I will give examples as I elaborate on each part. The first thing we want to do is set up the scene while introducing our main character. I will call her Sandy. Dean Koontz would probably call her Sasha.
In the cramped but clean bathroom, Sandy searched for her brush, opening and closing drawers that were under the sink. Where in the hell was it? Her brother better not have messed with it.
I have set up the setting, placed my character in the scene in relation to the objects, introduced my MC, and established her point of view by sharing her thoughts. I've decided to start with tension that most people can relate to. The goal is to manipulate the readers emotions without them feeling manipulated. When a reader can relate to the character's problems, they feel sympathy for them. So this is why I have chosen to start the story this way.
I don't need to set up the time and relation to the last scene, because this is the first scene in the novel. I can continue to develop setting, but I want to give her a goal as soon as possible, which I've already hinted at. She needs to find her brush. But I still need to give her a motivation for that goal and make clear the consequences if she fails to reach that goal.
To make this article shorter, I will not write the scenes in real time anymore after this next part.
She ripped open every drawer and frantically searched through all the contents in them, like blow dryer, hair clips, other brushes, and curling iron. She checked the shower and even behind the toilet. She rapped her fingers on the sink's counter, thinking about slapping her brother upside the head. Okay, she had fifteen more minutes until her date arrived.
She really wanted this date to go well; she had to impress him. Like really because he was cute, smart, charming, and popular. If Charlie ends up being her boyfriend, she will be popular too, and she really wanted to be popular. Just once, you know, she would like to feel what that was like.
So she had to find her brush because her mother's brush just made her hair all frizzy, and she didn't have the time to go buy a new one. Charlie might not want to be with her if her hair is a mess on their first date.
Now I have made her main goal clear, which is to make the date go smoothly. I have made her motivation clear: to make Charlie her boyfriend so she can be popular. But that is not her only reason. She likes him as well. The consequences if she fails to make him her boyfriend are implied. I have set up her first obstacle, the first thing that could go wrong. Her hairbrush is missing. If she doesn't find it, her hair will be frizzy.
I need to think of other things that could go wrong while she is looking for her brush. I need to narrow her options. One way to narrow options, which creates tension, is adding a timer. The timer itself also creates suspense. A timer can be many things, like a cancer leaving her with three months to live.
She keeps checking her watch. By the time she gets downstairs, she only has ten minutes left. Her brother swears that he doesn't know where her brush is. Her mother doesn't know either.
Then her mother tells her brother to take out the trash, but he says it is Sandy's turn. Now she has a new obstacle. She tries to talk her way out of it, but she's wasting time, so she decides to take the trash out as quickly as possible. What else could go wrong? When she gets outside, a massive raccoon jumps out of the knocked-over trash can. She must get him out of the way, for she can put the bag in the trash and pick up the mess it had made. Eight more minutes. She finds a broom and pokes it at the raccoon, but it attacks the broom and rips it out of her hands. Seven minutes. She throws her brothers soccer ball at it. the raccoon runs off, but she feels bad about hitting it. She picks the trash up and runs back up stairs.
Five more minutes. Her options have narrowed. She no longer has the time to search for her hairbrush. The scene ends with her failing to reach her goal. She doesn't find her hairbrush. Now we write the exhale scene, which will be in my next article.
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